Waiting

Waiting has never been my strong point. Trusting never my forte. I like to do things for myself when I want them done right. I can get things done. I’ve always loved helping people, doing things for them because I could. Task orientated describes my life. But what happens when I’m waiting, waiting on others to do things for me? It’s a scary thought. I can feel my heart picking up, pumping a little harder. People fail. They forget. They don’t care. I guess it’s something I’m just going to have to do though. But I’m not completely powerless. I sit outside and listen to the birds in the sky. The Bible says that God takes care of them, how much more will He take care of me? So I’ll wait. And I’ll trust. Things will fall into place and I’ll be on my way.

Trust: something I need more of. 

Failure

Perfection. I write these lines over and over again, deleting them faster each time. I just can’t get it out right. What am I getting myself into? I feel a disconnect and I’m afraid to go forward. I get the words wrong every time. They are right there in my mind but they come out all wrong. I get frustrated when I’m alone, promising myself to do better. Next time. But what if there isn’t going to be a next time? The clock is ticking and the situation is getting darker. My frustration builds and I’m left with knots in my stomach. I did it again I guess. Failure.